


you cover the sun with your wings

by Claw512



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, MerMay, Merpeople
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claw512/pseuds/Claw512
Summary: Cullen had been moody, and Dorian just wanted to figure out why.(He knew why, it's a Sebastian-shaped problem, but he'll try to approach with a little more tact).
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Sebastian Vael
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	you cover the sun with your wings

“You’ve been of a mood.” Dorian Pavus said. A wrong and unfair statement. Cullen Rutherford was not, as he claimed, ‘of a mood’, and the fact that Dorian might know him better than anyone else, maybe except for Cassandra, contributed nothing to his faulty observation.  
  
“I don’t know what you mean.” Cullen said, resisting the urge to bury his face in the crook of his arm. Instead, he rolled over, stretched his body out longer and pressed his cheek into the hard surface of the sun-baked rock beneath. Over them, the sky was endlessly blue with scarcely a ball of cloud. It was not a windy day, and the extra feverish heat beating down onto Cullen’ back and shoulders was extremely pleasant. He hung his hands motionlessly down the side of the rock where the waves came to lap at his fingers before shyly rolling back into the ocean. The water felt satisfyingly warm, maybe he should go for a swim before going home.  
  
Next to him, Dorian sat up, strong back muscles rippling as he straightened himself out.  
  
“You’ve constantly been agitated and anxious lately. Even Trevelyan had noticed, and Cassandra had been harassing me with questions for a while. The other day you snapped at poor scout Jim, and nearly made yet another scout piss himself over a logbook entry.”  
  
Cullen didn’t answer. He had been delaying their next hunt so he could wait for Cassandra to recover from the injury she got from their previous one, but he only ended up feeling cagey because of it. He did feel ashamed for unleashing his frustration on his people. Perhaps it would better if he just went with Dorian to take the edge of a little. Beside, there was the extra matter of…  
  
“Is this about Sebastian?” Dorian pressed.  
  
Cullen froze. And Dorian must undoubtedly see the rigidness that settled into his frame that a few seconds ago was soft and lax. When he spoke again his voice was softer, more careful.  
  
“You know I hate talking about feelings…”  
  
Liar, Cullen thought, no one else liked to talk about feelings more.  
  
“…but from what you’ve told me about him it sounds like he likes you. And you like him. So what is the problem here?”  
  
Cullen blinked. I don’t know if I really like because I like him, or because he has made me. He’s a creature that exists to seduce and manipulate. How can I be sure? Whenever I cast my eyes upon him, dark hair glossy under the sun, blue eyes the depth of the ocean, it’s like nothing else exists in the world. No, it must be an enchantment, and Sebastian had casted it upon Cullen, whether he even meant to or not. As much as Cullen wanted to think otherwise, he knew it was just Sebastian’s very nature.  
  
The thought, which until then Cullen had been refusing to dwell upon, had him miserable in no time flat. The whole ordeal was just so absurd that he would have burst out laughing right now were he not afraid that it might lead to a bound of hysteria. Dorian seemed startled at how fast Cullen’ mood shifted. He made a jerky, sudden move with his hand that had Cullen snapping his attention toward its direction.  
  
“Those eyes!” Dorian let out a sound half way between a groan and a chuckle. “Even if this Sebastian had a stone for a heart he still wouldn’t be able to say no to them.”  
  
“It’s not him who’s having trouble saying no,” sighed Cullen. Dorian immediately had this look that indicated he finally got it. Dorian Pavus might be a bastard, but he was a sharp bastard.  
  
“Huh, never thought I’d live long enough to see you so afraid of something.” Dorian said, completely out of the blue. Cullen blinked. He replayed the sentence in his head to make sure he didn’t understand it wrong.  
  
“I am not afraid.” He managed.  
  
“You started shaking whenever he was mentioned, then you got upset. His name alone was enough to invoke a terror I’d never seen in you. You smile when you think about him and then your smile freezes and dies on your lips before it is even fully formed. You aren’t just afraid, you are terrified…” Dorian leaned toward him, smirking, peering down at Cullen like he was a prey, “…of being in love.”  
  
Okay, maybe he wasn’t so smart after all. Cullen opened his mouth, planning to explain the whole thing before it got further out of hand, but a voice interrupted them.  
  
“Gentlemen.”  
  
Goosebumps broke out on Cullen’ skin. That unmistakeable voice. It was probably not a good idea to startle Dorian, however, as fire immediately started dancing on his fingertips. Cullen turned onto his back and sat up as his friend snarled at the newcomer.  
  
They were just talking about him, and here he was, just risen out of the water, wet hair sticking to his forehead, smiling nonchalantly and looking in all the world like the waves had just carried him in. Cullen swallowed. He wanted to say something but it felt like the words had gotten stuck in his throat. The sun seemed to have been caught in the water drops rolling down Sebastian’ skin, casting a faint halo around him. Cullen found it impossible that someone could look that good without some sort of spell.  
  
“Sebastian.” He breathed out at last, and Sebastian’ grin widened.  
  
“Good afternoon Cullen, and Ser Pavus, I presume.”  
  
The fire dimmed somewhat, but didn’t completely disappear. Dorian nodded warily at Sebastian.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Cullen asked. Why did it suddenly feel suffocating, perhaps he had been sitting here for far too long. Even though, deep in a corner of his mind, he knew the reason why. He had worked himself into a depressive state of mind because of Sebastian; having the man right before his eyes did little to help alleviating it.  
  
“I haven’t seen you in a while. I miss your company.” Sebastian answered. He always sounded so sincere, so truthful that sometimes it almost pained Cullen to doubt him.  
  
“I’ve been a little occupied.” Cullen stated. He wasn’t looking at Dorian, but he could almost feel the man’s head swivelling around at neck-breaking speed to look at him.  
  
“No offense taken,” Sebastian tilted his head, still smiling, “how are you?”  
  
It wasn’t fair, Cullen mused, the effect that Sebastian had on him. At times, Cullen physically craved his presence. When that feeling arose, he wanted nothing more than to go up to the beach and call the man’s name until he came. Cullen wanted his strong arms around him, his brown locks between his fingers, his heartbeat beneath his ears. Yet, whenever they met, the mere thought of Sebastian charming him into feeling that way made him sick. Cullen had been trying to avoid Sebastian, hoping whatever spell had been casted on him would wear off with time and distance. But the longer he went without seeing Sebastian, the worse the feeling got.  
  
I need to leave, Cullen frantically thought.  
  
“I’m fine. Excuse me, I need to go.” Cullen looked away as the last two words were said, not brave enough to look directly at Sebastian. Before anyone had the chance to reply, he inhaled deeply, leaned over the rock and dove into the waves.  
  
The water was indeed as warm and good as he had expected, but Cullen was of no mind to enjoy it. His tail propelled him faster forward as he swam deeper into the belly of the ocean, closing his windpipe and opening his gill slits. Cullen didn’t have a destination in his mind. He just knew that he needed to get as far away from Sebastian as physically possible, because he could not get away from him in any other way. The ocean took him in like she always had, her darkness a soothing contrast to Sebastian’ dazzling presence.  
  
Later, much later, Dorian found Cullen lying on his side on the ocean floor, surrounded by a bunch of chatty crabs while a family of wrasses worked diligently on his tail. The crabs dispersed when Dorian approached, and Cullen asked sullenly without turning around to face him.  
  
“Is he gone?”  
  
“Right after you left.” Dorian settled down behind Cullen. The wrasses waited for him to arrange himself comfortably before a couple moved from Cullen’ tail to his. Cullen could hear one of them tutting at Dorian. He knew his friend well enough to know he would be waving dismissively at them even without looking. “He said to tell you he was sorry for disturbing you, and that he wouldn’t come anymore unless you wanted him to.”  
  
Cullen sighed.  
  
“That was why you were reluctant to say anything about Sebastian?” Dorian wasn’t one known to beat around the bush, and he stayed true to it.  
  
“Yeah.” Cullen said.  
  
A beat of silence.  
  
“You really needn’t be so scared, Cullen. There are far worse things on this corner of the earth that you could have fallen in love with.”  
  
“You seem awfully sure of this love thing you keep speaking about.” A couple of sea anemones in front of Cullen swayed gently in the water, looking like some innocent sea plants.  
  
“He has been on your mind for quite some time now. And I saw the way you two look at each other.”  
  
Cullen didn’t say anything. He didn’t miss that either. How could he. Sebastian, soft-spoken as he usually was, was an intense being. He talked about things that enraptured him with a passion that drew Cullen in like an anglerfish's victim to its bait. When he told stories of the places he had seen, people he had met, of time long past and empires long gone, Cullen felt like he himself knew them all. And Sebastian’ gaze. Oh, his gaze. He looked at Cullen with a shimmering heat that Cullen was almost certain he could feel on his skin. He touched Cullen with such care it brought to life a feeling of adoration so fierce Cullen could choke on it. Cullen wish he had been like those dense, careless merboys, because then he wouldn’t be able to tell that the desire for him burned fervently in Sebastian’ blood, maybe even love, but…  
  
“He heard me sing the first time we met.”  
  
This was it, the guilt that had been eating at him all along.  
  
“I was alone, sunbathing, and then there he was. One look at him and I could tell he’d heard me. Then he just… started following me around. Whenever I am by myself it’s like he can sense it, because he would be there with that infuriating smile. And I found myself… so drawn in by him. He knows so much, and he always thinks of… these things, these out of this world things that somehow make so much sense when he says them. He thinks of questions and answers and problems and solutions and his intention is always good and true. And I… and I…,” Cullen trailed off. The words were right there on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t know if he should say them, if he was brave enough to. Dorian didn’t nudge him, didn’t push, just listened. His hand stroked Cullen’ dorsal fin soothingly.  
  
Cullen’ gills flared as he took in a deep shaky breath.  
  
“I can’t say it.”  
  
Dorian’ hand stilled for a moment before resuming its previous patterns. “Oh Cullen,” he exclaimed, a few bubbles escaped the corner of his mouth and bobbing up to the surface, “I really don’t see what the problem is, my friend.”  
  
Cullen laughed humourlessly.  
  
“The problem is none of this is real. All he’s feeling right now is what I’ve made him feel.” The words tasted so bitter on his tongue it made him wince. “And because of what he is, the same thing is probably true for me, too.”  
  
“Cullen Rutherford, that is not possible,” Dorian interrupted, “Sebastian is an incubus.”  
  
“No kidding.” Cullen replied. Those massive wings were hard to miss.  
  
Dorian sighed, ran his hands through his hair.  
  
“Cullen, he’s an incubus, and you’re merfolk. You both are creatures of temptation. Your magic doesn’t work on each other. You cannot enchant Sebastian any more than he can you.”  
  
It was like Cullen’ world was flipped upside down at the same time an impressive weight was taken off his chest. In front of him, Dorian looked both pitied and amused at once. His expression shifted to amused rapidly as minutes passed. Cullen must look so shocked, because as hard as Dorian was biting his lips, in the end he let slip a laugh, then another one, then another one.  
  
“That’s what you’ve been beating yourself up about,” Dorian thumped his massive tail on the ocean floor, stirring up a small tornado of sand, “you have been sitting on your hands, berating yourself for making the poor incubus fall in love with you and being angry at him for making you fall for him. You’ve been pushing him away all this time while you two could have been fu…”  
  
“That’s quite enough, thank you.” Cullen was, understandably, properly scandalised. But with Dorian’ earlier words came a relief so big he couldn’t find it in himself to be even a little bit annoyed. The wrasses were all gone, swam away from the ruckus. It was just the two of them. Meanwhile, Dorian’ laughter had subsided to a chain of sniggers. He hadn't been this happy and relaxed in quite a while, Cullen thought. Cullen knew that between the two of them he wasn't the only one to have been feeling a little down. As it was, he found it impossible not to smile while his friend looked so radiant, all traces of the shadow that had been clouding his eyes gone, at least for the moment. Soon enough, Dorian had had Cullen chuckling right along with him.  
  
“I’ve been an idiot.”  
  
“I’m not disagreeing,” Dorian answered, “especially seeing that you’re still here instead of up there calling lover boy’s name until he and those weird massive wings come to take you away. In spirit only, I should clarify. Don’t go anywhere strange with him.”  
  
Dorian’ gaze was so soft, so understanding.  
  
Cullen looked up at the sliver of light above him.  
  
“Go tell him,” Dorian said.  
  
Cullen went.  
  
The journey to land this time was different. Cullen hadn’t realised he had gone down quite so deep, but perhaps it was the anticipation that made it feel so long. He speared through the water, spurred on by the thought of seeing Sebastian. The light grew brighter and brighter. At last, he broke the surface with a gasp, gills working painfully once, twice before he managed to close them. The sun was shining at an angle that indicated it was now early afternoon.  
  
Cullen swam to a nearby boulder. He planted his arms firmly on its surface, flapped his tail hard and used the momentum to push himself up onto it. A sea hawk flew by, lingering curiously before moving on. “Right,” Cullen muttered under his breath. He ran a hand into his hair to try and smooth it down, but without a mirror there was only so much he could do. He fussed over the part of he knew would be standing up before deciding that he was fighting a losing battle.  
  
Cullen dropped his hands down to his lap. He poked at a scale there, momentarily at loss of what to do. Normally Sebastian would just show up, but he had made it clear that he wouldn’t unless Cullen told him to. Cullen appreciated it a lot, but he wondered how he could communicate to Sebastian that he wanted to see him when the man wasn’t even around. Now that Cullen knew, nothing stood in the way of his wanting anymore. He wanted… Sebastian. And he hoped Sebastian still want to see him.  
  
“Sebastian,” Cullen called, softly, and then louder, “Sebastian.”  
  
He only had the chance to feel silly for a second before Sebastian appeared with a pop and a ring of black smoke. “Cullen,” he said, waving his hand to clear out the smoke. He was… topless. As a matter of fact, all he had on was his underpants. Cullen, inexplicably, blushed.  
  
“Am I interrupting?” He asked. It would be silly for him to get jealous, considering that Sebastian fed on sexual energy to live. No, it was not jealousy, but still, something pooled low in his stomach.  
  
“No, no, not at all,” Sebastian said, even though something was off about his demeanour. He breathed in deeply a couple of times, nostrils flaring. When he looked at Cullen there was something indiscernible glinting in his eyes. “Excuse me,” Sebastian snapped his fingers and more smoke appeared to wrap around him. When he re-emerged, he was dressed as impeccable as he always had, not a hair out of place.  
  
“Better?” Sebastian said, sounding a little sheepish.  
  
“Yeah, no… I mean… uhm… yes?” Cullen scratched the back of his head.  
  
They looked at each other then, an unusual silence between them.  
  
Cullen had so many things to say, but he wasn’t sure how to.  
  
Maybe he should start with an apology. He owned it to Sebastian, after all. Yes. An apology would be a good idea.  
  
“I apologise,” Sebastian said and took Cullen by surprise. He continued without waiting for a reply, “for the absurdity of my actions ever since meeting you.”  
  
This had taken a rather unexpected turn.  
  
“I…” Sebastian hesitated, then smiled ruefully and shook his head, “I have to admit, you captivate me in a way no one had ever managed to do before. You listen to me, truly listen. You don’t turn your nose up at my foolish belief, yet you don’t coddle me. You hold your own in every single conversation we’ve had. You’ve opened my eyes to so many novel things. It’s strange for me to feel so…” He hesitated again, shifting through his mind for the right word to use, “accepted.”  
  
Sebastian’ wings, which he had folded neatly behind him, shifted. Cullen was reminded of how human wrought their hands together when they were agitated. Similarly, Sebastian didn’t seem like he was actively aware that he was doing it.  
  
“I’m the son that isn’t good enough to be _the_ son. I can’t be a Sire since I’m too 'distracted by the outer world'. My father has his heir and his spare so fortunately he leaves me alone for the most part, but he has never attempted to hide his contempt. Naturally, his clan wanted nothing to do with me. So you have to imagine how I feel when you came into my life and treated me like I was your equal.” Sebastian’s wings drooped. He was still smiling, but it was a sad, sad smile. “I was so eager to bask in your presence that I have overstepped my boundaries. I should have realised sooner that I had been hassling you. My affection is for you but it’s neither your fault nor your problem. Command me to go, and I will go.”  
  
Predictably, Cullen’ fish brain decided to zoom in on one word.  
  
“Your affection for me…”  
  
“Yes,” Sebastian huffed out a laugh, “in case you haven’t noticed, I think you deserve a constellation of your own just for being you. Had my voice any weight to your Gods at all I would have come to them, and I would have asked them to paint your likeness on the endless canvas of the sky so that human could worship you until the end of time. So that I can worship you until the end of time. The more I spend time with you the more I want to spend time with you. I tried to reign myself in, I did, but in the end I always gave in to temptation. Which, I could see now, was unpleasant for you.”  
  
“It wasn’t,” cried Cullen, “it wasn’t unpleasant for me.”  
  
He couldn’t let Sebastian think that. He had done enough damage already.  
  
"It wasn't?" Sebastian asked. He looked hopeful, but also like he was trying to stamp down that hope.  
  
Cullen shook his head. “Everything was so confusing to me. Looking at you, talking to you, even just thinking about you made me so happy, but so guilty. I thought not seeing you would make it better but it didn’t. I should have told you earlier that I want to see you, too. You shouldn't have to doubt yourself like that. If anyone needs to apologise, it’s me.” Cullen looked at Sebastian, determined. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Secretly, he wished he could have been more articulate, told Sebastian what he had told Dorian. Instead, he stammered through a mess of words he couldn’t keep track off and might have just screwed this up even more than he already had. Cullen was no blushing virgin, no inexperienced mermaid, definitely not some shy fingerling having its first crush. Yet, when it came to Sebastian, it was like he was all of those things at once.  
  
Despaired, Cullen looked down at his tail again, and didn’t notice that Sebastian had come closer until the man reached out with his hand to grip Cullen’ chin and tilt his head back up. Cullen blinked.  
  
_Even if this Sebastian had a stone for a heart he still wouldn’t be able to say no to them_.  
  
“Tell me to stop and I will,” Sebastian whispered. He was close, so close.  
  
Cullen’ eyes slipped shut.  
  
Sebastian’ kiss was gentle, just a brush of lips at first. His hand moved along Cullen’ jawline to cup his cheek; his thumb carressed his skin; the other hand he placed on Cullen’ elbow. Only when he was sure that Cullen wasn’t tensing up did he deepen the kiss. Sebastian was being so careful, like he was scared that Cullen would slip through his fingers and fall back into the embrace of the ocean again if he wasn’t. Cullen wasn’t going anywhere, though. He gingerly put his hand on Sebastian’ side, then, decided that wasn’t enough, clutched at Sebastian’ jacket. Sebastian hummed happily when he felt the pull, so Cullen held on tighter, even when the coarse fabric was rough on the frail webbing between his fingers.  
  
It was heavenly. It was everything Cullen had wished for but at the same time it wasn’t enough. Now that he had a taste of what this was like, he wanted more, so much more. When Sebastian pulled back, Cullen chased after his lips almost unconsciously and Sebastian laughed when they ended up kissing again. And again. And again.  
  
“Stop, stop,” Sebastian laughed breathlessly as Cullen, as if hypnotised, landed another kiss on the corner of his lips, “you fiend. What have I gotten myself into.”  
  
His wings had unfurled while they were kissing. They spread out wide to block the sun. Black, leathery wings like a manticore’s, and just as impressive. Cullen stared at them, stunned. Sebastian followed his gaze to glance back at the state his wings were in and immediately went a little pink. Cullen tilted his head.  
  
“Are you propositioning me?” He asked.  
  
Sebastian went slightly pinker, but he recovered fast.  
  
“Depends. Am I successful?”  
  
Cullen looked at the wings again, which were now vibrating slightly, and then down at his own hands. Despite Sebastian’ wing membrane being much thicker than the webbing between his fingers, they weren’t that much different, really.  
  
They still had much to work through. Between themselves. Then to Cullen’s family. How was he going to break this to the rest of his pod... At least Dorian knew and approved. Branson and Trevelyan wouldn’t be much of a problem. Rosalie might be. Cassandra definitely would be, but only because she was extremely protective of the pod. Damn... Mia...

Maybe he was going to fast with this, but Cullen really needed his family to accept Sebastian.  
  
“Hey, hey, hey,” Sebastian said softly, pressed his forehead against Cullen’. His fingers combed into the damp hair at the back of Cullen’ head, “I can smell you getting anxious. Don’t. There is no shame in this. It will work, we will make it work. Together.”  
  
Cullen nuzzled into the touch. From Sebastian' words, he knew the man was misunderstanding the situation like Dorian had before. But there was only so much humiliation about this one topic that Cullen could suffer through in a day. He would tell Sebastian later, but not now.  
  
“Alright,” he whispered, “alright.”  
  
Together sounds good.

**Author's Note:**

> Rewritten. This was always meant to be SebCullen though.


End file.
